​welcome to our website !

abbey psychological services

**currently accepting new patients in Monterey & Saratoga
providing services remotely via telementalheath and Healthtap Virtual Consult, pending

"the future is hope, and that hope is now!" (Pope Francis, 2016)​

included in our personalized style of working are
Comprehensive, Compassionate, ​Integrative, Mindfully-based Interventions
Traditional & Modern Attachment Theory,
Clinical Developmental (Psychodynamic) Approach
interwoven with ancient Wisdom Traditions (Buddhism, Judaism; Christianity)
Early Adversity, Severe Stress & Trauma, Coping, Hope, & Resilience-Focused​
​
promoting safe access; safe spaces for kids
and, co-creating new, healthy narratives, and  safe spaces within.
offering ​​rapid, accessible, quality, affordable, trauma-responsive
precision mental health services for our children & their friends,
​parents, families, adults, 'tweens; teens

**currently accepting new patients in Monterey & Saratoga offices
qualifying individuals soon served remotely via 
TeleMentalHealth or Healthtap Virtual Consult (pending)

payment by retainer. 48 hour cancellation policy.
​check, cash accepted.
​low-fee/and pro bono options:
Open Path Collective provider,  Victim Assistance Program,
​Health Tap Virtual pending, Abbey Global Consult, Abbey Blue Canoe

and so, chatting with parents -
where IS mr. rogers when we need him?
where HAVE all the flowers gone?
​and why do GEN X'ers seem to be trying to parent all of us?
have you READ Jada Pinkett-Smith on cultivating and maintaining
​a mentally & spiritually balanced, healthy life?

and, how do we parent kids who seem to be closer to peers
around the world than they are to their own parents?
who are these kids who seem to operate by consensus through social media
and are just not very impressed with "authority" and "rules" ?!

let's imagine that they are fantastic, awesome, people, 
they are incredibly loyal to their friends.
it is said that they will tell you the truth if they truly
understand and respect you. they will willingly listen
and probably cooperate if allowed to collaborate on the
family rules and creation of consequences. . 

** and they don't seem to want trouble.  for that reason, when they are hurting emotionally,
some of them (at younger and younger ages, such as kids ten years old) are also
ending their lives, and sometimes the lives of others,
without any warning, when feeling misunderstood, hopeless, lonely, hurt from
being bullied, harassed, shamed, especially when they think
they don't matter to you, don't think they would be believable, or think telling you would be
too much burden for you, or think they are simply expendable.

​and so, let's talk. Parents and caregivers are a vital part of children's treatment.
​

introducing some thoughts . . . 

"how beautiful a day can be
​when kindness touches it!"
*
through abbey, we provide
consistently competent,
​comprehensive,
confidential, respectful
precision psychological services.

​Emphasizing hopefulness,
we maintain a compassionate
& warm presence,
reducing the sources
of anxiety & suffering,
promoting sources
of hope, strength, joy!
*​
we practice precision
psychology
"the right treatment
for the right person at the right time."
Obama, 2015
​(expert research-informed & evidence-based, accurate, contextual and personalized Psychological Assessment
and Case Conceptualization -
Trauma Informed & Trauma Responsive
Relationship-based, individualized treatment interventions.

we conduct research and work effectively with many high-conflict, affected and interpersonally violence-exposed children & youth, which involves intervening with siblings, parents/caregivers, therapists, educational personnel, medical, judicial, forensic, law enforcement individuals, and others affected & compromised
by the severe stress & trauma which living in confusion, terror, isolation & sadness --perpetual interpersonal conflict & violence exposure produces.

​Intervening effectively
requires us to persistently research & consult with others who specialize in identifying & fostering children’s protective, buffering factors - factors - which in turn provide enhanced support and promote coping, resilience and hope in children and adults at criticsl life stages & unique contexts across the lifespan.

The range and continuity of services
we offer is designed to assist those we serve to perceive interpersonal interactions accurately, ensure and maintain emotional stability, learn how to obtain optimal level of care to support a continued healthy perspective and support wellbeing for children, adolescents & their families,

we offer services for very young children within their caregiving units, and for transitioning individuals of any age, focused support for transitions known to be especially challenging, such as moving from secondary school to residential college environments.
we work fastidiously with victims of crime, their families/support systems, with adults/older adults, with those who may have unacknowledged or previously unassessed cognitive disabilities.

​we provide many types of psychological assessment. Including psychological assessments & interventions, psycho-educational consult & assessments
for school age and preschoolers, conduct cognitive/functional evaluations for frail elderly.

the 'expendable' child
​
The research on child/family
stress & coping contains a sad
& sensitive area on the nature,
effects, & treatment
of literal but also a figurative
sense of figurative child absence
​(invalidation)
experienced within ​a family or stepfamily.

At times, this may derive from high,
unresolved inter-parental conflict/violence,
It may also occur as a result of realistic
estrangement of a child
from a parent as a result of the parent’s
persistent cold, manipulative, inconsistent
or harsh behavior. it may be a result of explicit parental alienation enacted
by threat of child abduction, harm,
by being the recipient of severe abuse, torture, in
situations where a child witnesses
terrifying abuse, homicide, the "disappearing" of a sibling/parent.
Such incidents may result in a child's
reflexive response of 
expendability.

A child may also be rendered figuratively "absent" , perceive ​that he is being
replaced, thus perceive he is subtly
invisible,
obliterated,
“expendable" - consciously
or unconsciously understand he is 
erased, not worthy, or no longer valued,
not acknowledged or included as
a legitimate family member or seen as a valid participant in the family unit
as a function of sibling harassment
& abuse, severe parental
pathology and degradation..
These are some of the most
difficult cases a child therapist is called
on to treat because the family pattern
is so entrenched, and serves such
a vital but horrid purpose.

Finally, a child may be treated as
"absented" as a function
of an acute or chronic,
life-limiting medical condition,
such as sometimes occurs when parents
are preoccupied with the pain of losing
​a spouse or another family member (child) 
​to severe or chronic life-limiting illness, impending divorce or death.
Parents may become overwhelmed
​with paralyzing fright, chronic sorrow, and be to fragile to express love and nurture to any child.  . . .

offering precision (personalized) support
for Parents, Children,
Youth, Adults;, Families
learning to provide constancy,
progressively engendering
trust, ​& facilitating the development
​of discernment, understanding
​within our families.

​
​​Twig by twig.
​stone by stone,
​we help
​each other grow.
gretchen schmelzer.com 2016​
all rights reserved
*

​​​​we assist children, youth,
with their families
& caregivers,
to address
and work through
conflicting thoughts,
​and feelings,
challenging relationships,
secret-keeping,
negative alliances,
and, sometimes,
confusing,
​unhealthy, influences,
*
​​while every family is unique,
& the pace of their change
​& growth
is uniquely theirs.

when they are well supported
​in therapy, and elsewhere
the essence of their experiences
becomes, in many ways.
​qualitatively similar.

​​​

​as ​parents, as therapists,
helpers, friends of kids, we see
ourselves building a nest
in the hearts of children
follow gretchen schmelzer.com, 2016​

---

​​"the active ingredient in
development ​in the life of a child
is the quality of the relationship
​he has with ​adults ​in his life."

​Jack Shonkoff, M.D. ​

it is immensely
rewarding to see families
respond, begin to experience
relief, repair and healing,
locate positive, creative energy
within themselves individually
​and
as a family unit ​-
***
become more
deeply aware, learn to listen
to what is occurring within themselves
and their relationships more accurately,
​and come to parent
more positively, less reactively,
more bravely, reflectively -
with genuine curiosity,
insight, respect, and enjoyment -
in response to timely,
​genuine interest, informed
examples, ​modeling & support.

the continuing bonds
 & buffer of
attachment exist between people
​& loved ones who have died,
​between children & adults who have
lost contact,
between each of us & the creatures
we love & lose --
just exactly as those bonds existed
before contact was lost, or between
people and those who have passed
or ​with our animal relationships--
just as with relationships
between spouses
and other close family members.
​​- when a loved one, person
​cherished animal, dies . .

bonds of attachment and love
between each other may be
​memorialized,
celebrated, & internalized
(taken in - made part of us,
​and brought forward in time)
to be drawn on for comfort
​& support throughout our lives
​to the degree the relationship was
healthy, positive,
comforting & supportive
when the ​loved object was ​living,
or sometimes when
​the relationship
an be ​redeemed and transformed
​after loss.

”all things . . .
​bright and beautiful . . .

---

all creatures - great . . .

---

---

                       . . .and small . . .

(. . . . and even smaller. . . . !)

all things wise  . . . . 

and wonderful . . .

---

​​​

---

"the Lord God made them all.”

Dr. Marilee Ruebsamen, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist
drmarileerueb@gmail.com
Founding Director, abbey psychological services - present, abbeypsychservices.com

​Mindful & Compassionate, Evidence-Based, Precision Psychological Care​ * Tele-BehavioraHealth Services
Child, Teen, Family, Adult- Clinical/Forensic Consultation, Trauma/General Psychological, Assessment & Treatment
drmarileerueb@gmail.com 
Fee for Service * Open Path Collective low fee provider * health tap virtual concierge * Victim Assistance Program
abbey BLUE CANOE (low/no-fee services for at-risk, gender questioning, gender creative, transitioning children & youth
& unaccompanied minor, uprooted, traveling children", homeless, victimized US street youth, migrant/refugees)
Asylum Evaluations & Treatment
Concierge Psychotherapy * Family, Dependency, Juvenile Court related or mandated therapies
Founding Executive Dir., ​Abbey Asylum & Refugee Services, Engaged Abbey, Abbey Global Consult
Center for Survivors of Torture, SJ, CA, Contracting Community Psychologist since Center's inception &
​Founding Executive Director, always be listening global initiative, 501(c)(3), 2015 - present
alwaysbelisteningglobal.com drmarilee@alwaysbelisteningglobal.com
global humanitarian project for "UPROOTED" (UNICEF)" "global Traveling Children":
war/armed conflict affected, forcibly displaced, unaccompanied children & youth at
geopolitically unstable high risk borders in approximately in twelve countries
former
Clinical Director, Intern Training Program, Sutter Center for Psychiatry, Sutter Medical Center, Sacramento, CA
​Associate Professor, Pt-time Faculty, Pacific Graduate School of Psychology, PA, CA
Director, SAFECARE for Children Project, wednesday's child Projects, Health Trust of SC County, CA
​Clinical Director, Dir. Intern Program, SSPH Therapeutic (Special Ed.) School, SJ, CA
Special Ed. Instructor, Public Schools, twelve yrs. Santa Clara Unified School District, Santa Clara, CA
subject matter focus & expertise, select
Modern & traditional Attachment Theory, Global Child Development within transactions, across contexts
Nature & Effects, Assessment & Treatment: Unresolved Interparental Conflict & Violence Exposure on Children
Trauma, Inner Representations & Neuroplasticity; Effects of Lack of Social Cradle on Mothers & Infants
Contemporary Trauma Theory, Adverse Childhood Experiences, Parenting, Protective Buffering, Coping; Hope
Promoting Child & Youth Connectedness, Peer Friendships, Competencies, Coping & Hope
Child Suicidality, Failures of inclusion into Reconstituted Family, Expendability, Alienation dynamics, Realistic Estrangement
Stressors accompanying Poverty, Effects of multiple moves & Transitions, & Cyclical Homelessness on Children
Contributions of Psychological Assessment to Diagnosis and Intervention, Child & Adult Trauma Assessment
Trauma & Refugee, Post-Conflict, Post-Settlement, Asylum Psychology
affiliate, ally, member, rotating memberships for abbey & always, or following:
Amer Psychological Assoc. Div. 56 (Trauma Psychology) Div. 39 (Psychoanalysis)
American Prof. Society on the Abuse of Children Society of Clin. Child/Adol Psychology
Nat'l Scientific Council on the Developing Child | Harvard Center on the Developing Child | Child in Mind NYCD​
**European Society of Traumatic Stress; Mental Health & Psychosocial Support Network, International
**Human Health Aid Burundi | **N.E.A.R. Humanitarian Network | **Art Refuge UK
**UN Committee Against Children in Armed Conflict | Care4Calais
**International Assoc. of Professionals in Humanitarian Assistance & Protection, Brussels, Cert'd.
HealthRight International | Doctors of the World | | **Physicians for Human Rights (PHR)​
World Assoc. of Infant Mental Health | Doctors Without Borders MSF | Preemptive Love Coalition - Love Anyway! |
Child Health & Human Rights, Global Health & Pop., Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, Harvard School of Medicine
Yale School of Medicine, Dept. of Child Study (MINDMAP for first psychosis) Cambridge University Research
for Parents: The Greater Good Science Center, greatergood.berkeley.edu, Child MIND, The JED Foundation (Suicidality in Youth)

mission
comprehensive, compassionate precision child/family & adult adult psychological services in the US & globally.
through direct, conversational, need-based and traditional assessment & art "uprooted", "traveling children"
of global war ​and children of high inter-parental unresolved conflict symbolically communicate.
we train ourselves to be fully present, listen to, understand symbolic communication,
intuit & absorb the experience (nature & effects) of severe, extreme stress & trauma
of "uprooted" "traveling children" and "expendable" child of war, death, bereavement, loss, chronic terror
and the unique, unrecognized traumatic stress experience children of unresolved high conflict domestic situations
such as separations or divorces characterized by high conflict or domestic violence.

challenge
we continually seek to understand our own emotional responses for what they are,
​"​what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing:
it also depends on what sort of person you are."
C. S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew​​
understand how they may impede or contribute to understanding the ways children have coped
while in highly stressful contexts, and, in the US and globally, when homeless, uprooted, unaccompanied, unprotected,
how their symptoms are presently viewed and maintained, and how those symptoms can best be diminished.

​vision
to rapidly, accurately assess children of stressful contexts, understand their direct, individual experiences,
and rapidly, accurately differentiate psychosocial and psychiatric need.
successfully match children with appropriate, accessible, quality therapeutic interventions,
uniquely drawing directly from what children themselves reveal.
Where indicated, we may conduct standardized psychological assessment to answer specific questions.

we ask clarifying questions regarding coping
"how have you managed? coped? (so well)?" "how, exactly, did you cope?
how are you doing now?"
we listen closely for their exact description - what is remembered/recalled of their stressful experiences
​how they managed to cope, and what painful, traumatic, or post traumatic symptoms remain.
results obtained inform children's treatment and potential family, friend, and supportive others' involvement in treatment.​

as we interview and listen, we measure overall wellbeing
skillful, practiced, precise empathic listening allows us to measure, quantify, children's
a. direct exposure to traumatic experiences b. ways of coping​​ c. current wellbeing & mental health status.
We measure their wellbeing in terms of presence of expressed psychosocial distress
and/or strengths​ (sturdy, flexible coping & mental health)
vs. the expression of psychiatric symptoms (anxiety, depression, dissociation, etc.)
​(absence of more severe mental health symptoms.)
​
as a result,
we can knowledgeably make decisions for precision treatment/interventions.
We are confident that by refining the manner in which treatment decisions are based,
(grounding them in precise, accurate, measurement),
we maximize the potential for timely, contextualized, personalized, ("precision") interventions -
providing ​a rapid, clear, accurate & valid, treatment pathway for recovery and wellbeing.

 Dr. James D. "Jay" Livingston, Ph.D., Senior Clinical Psychologist
abbey psychological services, present
abbeypsychservices.com       jamesdlivingstonphd@yahoo.com
Mindful & Compassionate, Evidence-Based, Precision Care
Clinical and Forensic Consultation, Assessment, Intervention, Training, Supervision  ​ ​
Fellow, Society for Personality Assessment, American Psychological Association ​
Founding Executive Board Member, the always project, always be listening global initiative
Attending Psychologist, Santa Clara County Behavioral Health, present
Founding Director., ​abbey asylum & refugee Services, engaged abbey, abbey psychological services
​Saratoga/Silicon Valley & Monterey CA
Center for Torture Survivors, SJ, CA, Contracting Psychologist ​

former
Center for Survivors of Torture, Senior Staff Psychologist   |  Asian Americans for Community Involvement
Clinical Psychologist, Children's Behavioral Health, Monterey County CA
Associate Professor, Pacific Graduate School of Psychology, Palo Alto, CA
Adjunct Professor, Psychological Assessment, UC Berkeley Extension, University of CA at Berkeley
Adjunct Professor, Psychological Assessment, CSPP at Alliant University, San Francisco, CA

​​subject matter expertise
Refuge and Trauma Psychology, Asylum psychology
​Psychological Assessment; Performance-Based Assessment: The Rorschach Test with Children and Adults
​Contributions of Psychological Assessment to Diagnosis and Intervention, emphasis on Trauma and Child Trauma
Nature, Effects, Measurement, and Treatment of Interpersonal, Interparental Violence Exposure on Children and Youth
​ally, member, rotating memberships
HealthRight International  |  Doctors of the World  |  Physicians for Human Rights   
UN Committee Against Children in Armed Conflict  |  RISE Refugee and Immigrant Services

​
offering
confidential, comprehensive psychological services for adult, child (including very young children) infant-parent), parent-child, child family,
adolescent/teen, transitioning youth, adult general & specialized psychological services for individuals across the lifespan,

specializing
experienced serving bereaved children, youth, adults, ,effects of exposure to extreme terror/danger, or have
complex/complicating developmental, injury/medical, psychiatric conditions; life-limiting or disfiguring acute or
chronic conditions.
educational system-involved complicated situations requiring second opinion, consult; support, treatment
children at risk subsequent to difficulty with inclusion in their family, or difficulties with inclusion into reconstituted
family general trauma psychology services, all ages, including for very young children & court-involved cases: review,
second opinion, consult, assessment, collatorate, treatment , expert testimony.
special expertise & experience in trauma assessment & treatment, instruction at doctoral level,
treatment: very young children  & adults effects of exposure to violence - nature, effects, assessment, treatment,
cultural/linguistic/gender issues.
high conflict- exposure to interpersonal, interparental families: nature, effects, assessment, treatment, coping and
hope, recovery. domestic violence: exposure to interpersonal, interparental families: nature, effects, assessment,
treatment,coping and hope, recovery. supporting researcher, and expert testimony
compassionate listening, grief support; credentialed, trained, and co-instructor for twelve years for
hospital chaplaincy training specific parent coaching, connectedness to likeminded professionals as each
situation suggests. we see a number of teens preparing for college, and early career professionals, often family constellations.
we enjoy our work with older adults, families who bring frail elders in for assistance with communicating and decision-making,
children and adults with acute, severe, and chronic stress and illness/disease  -- and their families/caregivers.   

immediate initial screening by phone, rapid intake
attempting to offer next day appointments for children in distress
.  . . & weekend appointments where needed, if we possibly can, or strong referrals

call now.   831.275.8260

​​court-involved situations:
we conduct consultations, forensic assessments, court-ordered individual, child, reunification, re-connection, and
supervised therapies, coparent counseling, therapeutic visitation, provide Second Opinion reviews of psychological assessment 

we consider every consultation, every connection, every encounter in therapy
a fresh opportunity for relatedness and connectedness
and we take opportunities to work with youth seriously.
every referral is carefully curated.

while we practice "modern", research informed, state-of-the-art, evidence-based psychotherapies, we are warmly
relational, theoretically integrative, and flexible, grounded in both original attachment theory and modern attachment
theory, (Alan Schore) and clinical-developmental (psychodynamic) theories, and in the profound, ancient Wisdom traditions
and the integrative models of treatment that derive from them, including, for example contemporary trauma theories
and contemporary attachment, psychodynamic theory, mindfulness based theories.

at the core of our work, we offer presence, warmth, empathic attunement,positive regard, deep attention,
deep listening - within a healing space. while we integrate research-informed, evidence-based treatments, and often use
cognitive behavioral interventions, as experienced professors and clinicians, we are actively conceptualizing as we work,
drawing fluidly from a number of theoretical frameworks as they are indicated clinically.
For example, we may move to using pediatric/health psychology interventions and work primarily from a stress and coping
perspective, using a specific stress-diathesis (stress-"vulnerability") model while treating the bereaved partner
of an individual who has died of a chronic, life-limiting illness, or in the treatment of a highly ambivalent, suicidal adolescent.

we provide
expert, timely, coherent, 'precision' psychological assessments, a variety of personalized trauma, psychodiagnostic,
personality, trauma, and other types of evaluations and assessments. Assessments may be primarily clinical, forensic,
psychodiagnostic, psychoeducational, parent child relationship focused. We conduct evaluations for Family Court,
Juvenile Dependency Court, Mitigation Court and Immigration/Asylum Court. As well, we are often asked to
conduct Private Evaluations for Physicians, Parenting Evaluations, IEPs, Placement, Work re-entry, etc. We provide Second Opinion reviews.

we consult to attorneys &
provide expert testimony & evaluations for the courts
Family, Juvenile Dependency, Mitigation, and Immigration/Asylum, and to individual judges,  parents, teachers,
social workers, IEP and Student Study Teams (SST) teams, attorneys formally and informally,
agengies, nonprofits. work as expert witnesses, and render Second Opinion reviews for children, youth and adults,
attorneys, addressing specific referral questions across many domains, including cognitive, learning, emotional,
interpersonal, coping, issues, etc., and Second Opinion reviews.

we conduct child & adult clinical & psychodiagnostic assessments
psychological assessments directly tied to treatment recommendations
treatment of child and adult grief and loss, severe stress and coping, including treatment of extreme trauma, victimization:
children and youth,

nature, effects, assessment and treatment of exposure to high unresolved conflict and interpersonal, inter parental violence
inter-parental violence, treatment of children, adults, families, affected others with chronic or life-limiting illness,
psychological support for invasive medical procedures, etc.,
high anxiety and post traumatic stress, pediatric mood disorders and suicidality, disorienting and distorting
attentional issues which contribute to anxiety and behavioral disorders.

we are active in multiple areas of asylum
& immigration reform, & continuing our global work in
Refugee Psychology & humanitarian work for uprooted children
we conduct consultations and asylum evaluations for individuals of all ages, speak and consult internationally on subjects
such as refugee safety, shelter and Sanctuary, torture recovery offer assistance for treatment Catholic Charities of San Jose
and Asian American for Community Involvement, Center for Survivors of Torture - with whom we've been associated for
several decades (Center for Survivors of Torture since its inception).
As well, we have developed our own global humanitarian nonprofit for war- armed conflict affected children
at geopolitically unstable borders (see alwaysbelisteningglobal.com).
​
we treat young unaccompanied minor children
now living in the US (referred to as "uprooted" "traveling children"
by the United Nations) pro bono
(unless, in the rarest of cases, they have access to funds or qualify for services by a provider such as Victims of Crime, etc.)
and further support them by collaborating with appropriate human rights agencies through our global humanitarian project
for forcibly displaced, migrating children at geopolitically unstable borders in ten countries. See our global project,
always be listening global initiative, an independent nonprofit in the US 501(c)(3). 
​(alwaysbelisteningglobal.com),  

an example of our pro bono work:  blue canoe
Dr. Ruebsamen has long provided assistance for what are now referred to by the UN as "uprooted, traveling children" --
street youth, at high risk, without connected ness to family or friends, endangered, sometimes ill, injured, targeted, 
harassed, threatened, frequently the victims of gender-based violence, fleeing or still involved in trafficking . . . in the US, these are generally
youth who find their way to us from the streets by word of mouth or through buddy referrals - who are, for a number of reasons, unable to locate help,
cannot transport themselves, cannot afford, or feel they cannot trust traditional available social and medical services in the community.
Through connections to service providers and agencies we have made, and by donating our services, we are able to engage
these youth and quickly evaluate their immediate needs - sometimes successfully assist them with immediate concerns  such as connections
for transportation, housing, food, and medical services, and, longer term, help them sort out urgent needs from issues that can wait, call home
if appropriate, begin to be heard and identify areas of trauma, move them on to appropriate, longer term compassionate professionals and agencies
equipped to address and ameliorate both their obvious further immediate stabilization and long-term medical,
residential, psychiatric, educational and vocational needs.
​​Currently, 1.8 million children and youth are estimated homeless on the streets in the US though numbers are almost impossible
to verify given the many ways children learn to be invisible in their often eventually failed attempts to remain anonymous
and, they hope, remain safe to survive on the streets.  

step by step,
​as children, teens, & families and adults heal,
 we observe increases in empathy, insight, cognitive flexibility, ​and compassion;
organizing, and maintaining care of the self,
developing reciprocal social engagement support - peer friendships
giving & receiving, sharing with others, displaying kindness, confidence, and hope. . .