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welcome!

abbey
​
psychological services

offices of
dr. marilee ruebsamen, ph.d. ​
​
dr. james "jay" livingston, ph.d.


​831.275.8260

408.455.7347, messages only

abbey saratoga
12850 saratoga ave
saratoga, ca 95070


abbey monterey
​2100 garden rd.

A -104 , monterey, ca 93940

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welcome to our practice!
​ "the future has a face, and its name is hope!"
Pope Francis, 5.01.2017

abbey psychological services
831.275.8260
what suffering and pain can teach us:
"a lever for growth: caring, wise, kind, & joyous living . . . ."
According to Mark Epstein, MD,

"if everyday trauma (loneliness, longing, & fear), common to everyone, doesn't destroy us, it is freeing --
it wakes us to both our minds' own capacity and to the suffering of others.
It makes us more human, caring, and wise.
​It can keep us kind. It can bring us joy.
​Available to all of us, it can be our greatest teacher."

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"how beautiful a day can be
when kindness touches it!" ​
*
we provide competent,
comprehensive,
confidential & respectful
psychological services.


Emphasizing hopefulness,
we work with consistent compassionate
& warm presence, reducing the sources of anxiety & suffering, promoting sources
of hopefulness, strength & joy!
*​
we offer precision
psychological services
(Obama, 2015: "the right treatment
for the right person at the right time.")
​That includes expert research-informed & evidence-based, accurate, contextual psychological assessment
and case conceptualization -
trauma informed & responsive
relationship based, individualized treatment interventions.

for example, we work with high-
conflict, interpersonally violence-exposed children & youth, parents, families, caregivers & others affected & compromised
by severe stress & trauma.

*To do this well, we continually research and consult with others who specialize in identifying and fostering protective, buffering factors - factors
which support and promote resilience and hope in children and adults across the lifespan and in multiple contexts.

our continuity of services
is designed to ensure emotional stability, optimal level of care, continued wellbeing for children, adolescents & their families,

Other psychological services include those for very young children, for transitioning students of any age, and specifically for college students.
we work fastidiously with victims of crime and their families/support systems, and with adults and older adults with those who may have unacknowledged and/or previously unassessed disabilities,

we support, provide thorough assistance with educational intervention, psycho-education
for caregiving families of adults and children, including preschoolers, and frail elderly.

Abbey psychologists collaborate with colleagues, attorneys, agencies, educational, medical, residential and legal services,
and maintain thoughtfully
curated professional referrals, most of whom we have developed trusted relationships with over time.

*

we share mindfulness
concepts and underlying principles,
​encourage the development
of authentic, personal, mindful practice,
promote spiritual paths,
practicing of awareness,
compassion, reflection,
embodied solidarity,
and teach steadying and soothing

strategies for use within family groups.


​we encourage the development
of parent/child/partner
positive
regard
And emphasize empathy
​
and the step-by-step cultivation of
​reflective function
.
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Double-tap to edit.

before you know
​what kindness really is  
    ​you must lose things,      
​feel the future dissolve
in a moment  -  
​like salt
  in a weakened broth.   ​

***
​​​Naomi Shihab Nye
*
the 'expendable' child-
The research on child/family
stress & coping contains a sad & sensitive area on the nature,
effects, & treatment
of
literal but also figurative

child absence (invalidation)
within ​a family (or stepfamily).
At times, this may be the result of high, unresolved inter-parental conflict & violence,
It may also occur as a result of realistic estrangement of a child from a parent as a result of the parent’s
by a persistent cold, manipulative, inconsistent or harsh behavior.
it may be a result of explicit parental alienation enacted by
by threat of child abduction, harm, by
​severe abuse, torture, in situations where a
child witnesses terrifying abuse, homicide, the "disappearing"
of a sibling or parent.

All can result in the perception
or reality, direct experience
of child expendability.


A child may also be rendered figuratively "absent" or perceive
that they are being
​are being replaced,
therefore perceive they are invisible, obliterated,
"expendable" -

consciously or unconsciously erased,
not worthy, or no longer valued,
not acknowledged or included as
a legitimate family member or participant
as a function of sibling harassment
& abuse, severe parental
pathology.


Further, a child may be treated as
"absented" as a function
of an acute or chronic,
life-limiting medical condition,

such as sometimes occurs when parents are preoccupied with
the pain of losing a spouse or another family member
​to divorce or death.
When parents become overwhelmed
with fright, chronic sorrow,
high anticipatory bereavement
​in response to a target child's
medical condition, they may, at times, react
with extreme denial and
Unconscious distancing from their healthy child,
become unable to function as
a parenting team,
Become no longer able to provide, between themselves,
for the child's basic attachment
and emotional needs (or even physical needs) without
professional intervention.
​

​ However, it is immensely rewarding
to see families
begin to experience relief,
repair and healing,
locate positive,
creative energy within
themselves individually and
as a unit ​-- become more
deeply aware, learn to listen
to what is occurring within themselves and their
relationships
more accurately,
and come to parent
less reactively,
more reflectively -
with genuine curiosity,
respect, ​and enjoyment - in response to timely, genuine, informed support.
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as parents, therapists,
helpers, friends, we are truly
b
uilding a nest
in the hearts of children -

see gretchen 
schmelzer.com, 2016​

​​FAMILY &
DEPENDENCY COURT

​ we conduct assessments & evaluations of children/adults, parents, & parenting capacity,
for private pay clients,
& court referred clients.

We teach mindful, Reflective PARENTING

principles in contexts
of multiple, poly-risk,
acute & chronic adversity
interwined with
unresolved interparental
conflict, violence and  loss. 

Family Court Approved
 Appointed or Private-

Attorney or ClientConsult
Second Opinion Review
Child Therapy
Child Parent Therapy 
Family Therapy'
Therapeutic Supervision,
Co-Parent Counseling, 
Reconnection Therapy
 ​
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​Integrative Treatment
for Parents,
Children/Youth, Adults;
Families

learning to provide constancy,
progressively engendering
trust, ​& factilitating
the development
​of discernment
and understanding.

​

​​Twig by twig.
​stone by stone,
​we help
​each other grow.

gretchen schmelzer.com 2016​
all rights reserved

*

​​​​we assist children,
with their families
& caregivers,

to address
and work through
conflicting thoughts,
​and feelings,
challenging relationships,
secret-keeping,
negative alliances,
and, sometimes, confusing,
​unhealthy, influences,

*
​​
while every family is unique,
& the pace of their change & growth is uniquely theirs,

when they are well supported
​in therapy, the essence of their
experiences becomes,
in many ways.
​qualitatively similar.
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​all things bright
& beautiful

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all creatures
great and small
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all things wise
​and wonderful
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​​
​the Lord God
​made them all.

​***

the continuing bonds
& buffer
of
attachment

​exist
between people
​& loved ones who
have passed on,
​between children
& adults --
& all of us and the creatures we love
&
lose --

just as they are in life
​with relationships between spouses
and other close
family members
​- when one dies . .bonds of love
​with pets may be memorialized,
celebrated, & internalized, to be

​drawn on for comfort & support
throughout life to the degree the
relationship was healthy & positive, comforting and supportive when the ​loved object was ​living.
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​"the active ingredient in development ​in the life of a child is the quality of the relationship he has with ​adults in his life."
​​​Jack Shonkoff, M.D. ​


​

​



Dr. Marilee Ruebsamen, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Founding Director
, abbey psychological services
abbeypsychservices.com
Mindful & Compassionate, Evidence-Based, Precision Psychological Care​ TeleBehavioraHealth services
Child, Teen, Family, Adult- Clinical/Forensic Consultation, Trauma, General and specialized, focused Psychological, Assessment
drmarilee@abbeypsychservices.com drmarileerueb@gmail.com marileerueb@yahoo.com
Fee for Service * Open Path Collective low fee provider * wounded warrior
abbey Blue Canoe (no-fee services for at-risk, gender questioning, gender creative, transitioning children & youth
and unaccompanied minor, uprooted, traveling children", homeless, victimized US street youth, migrant/refugees)

concierge psychotherapy * court related/or mandated reconnection therapy

Founding Director, Abbey Psychological Services - Saratoga & Monterey CA, & Telebehavioral Mental Health Services
Founding Executive Dir., ​Abbey Asylum & Refugee Services, Engaged Abbey, Abbey Global Consult
Center for Survivors of Torture, SJ, CA, Contracting Psychologist since Center's inception
&

​Founding Executive Dir., the always project - always be listening global initiative, 501(c)(3), 2015 - present

alwaysbelisteningglobal.com drmarilee@alwaysbelisteningglobal.com
global humanitarian project for "UPROOTED" (UNICEF)" "global Traveling Children":
war/armed conflict affected, forcibly displaced, unaccompanied children & youth at
geopolitically unstable high risk borders active in approximately in ten countries


former
Clinical Director, Intern Training Program, Sutter Center for Psychiatry, Sutter Medical Center, Sacramento, CA

​Associate Professor, Pt-time Faculty, Pacific Graduate School of Psychology, PA, CA
Director, SAFECARE for Children Project, wednesday's child Projects, Health Trust of SC County, CA
​Clinical Director, Dir. Intern Program, SSPH Therapeutic (Special Ed.) School, SJ, CA
Special Ed. Instructor, Public Schools, twelve yrs. Santa Clara Unified School District, Santa Clara, CA


subject matter focus & expertise, select
Modern & traditional Attachment Theory, Global Child Development within transactions, across contexts
Nature & Effects, Assessment & Treatment: Unresolved Interparental Conflict & Violence Exposure on Children
Trauma, Inner Representations & Neuroplasticity; Effects of Lack of Social Cradle on Mothers & Infants
Contemporary Trauma Theory, Adverse Childhood Experiences, Parenting, Protective Buffering, Coping; Hope
Promoting Child & Youth Connectedness, Peer Friendships, Competencies, Coping & Hope
Child Suicidality, Failures of inclusion into Reconstituted Family, Expendability, Alienation dynamics, Realistic Estrangement
Stressors accompanying Poverty, Effects of multiple moves & Transitions, & Cyclical Homelessness on Children
Contributions of Psychological Assessment to Diagnosis and Intervention, Child & Adult Trauma Assessment
Trauma & Refugee, Post-Conflict, Post-Settlement, Asylum Psychology


affiliate, ally, member, rotating memberships for abbey & always, or following:
Amer Psychological Assoc.
Div. 56 (Trauma Psychology) Div. 39 (Psychoanalysis)
American Prof. Society on the Abuse of Children
Society of Clin. Child/Adol Psychology
Nat'l Scientific Council on the Developing Child | Harvard Center on the Developing Child | Child in Mind NYCD​
**European Society of Traumatic Stress; Mental Health & Psychosocial Support Network, International
**Human Health Aid Burundi | **N.E.A.R. Humanitarian Network | **Art Refuge UK
**UN Committee Against Children in Armed Conflict | Care4Calais
**International Assoc. of Professionals in Humanitarian Assistance & Protection, Brussels, Cert'd.
HealthRight International | Doctors of the World | | **Physicians for Human Rights (PHR)​
World Assoc. of Infant Mental Health | Doctors Without Borders MSF | Preemptive Love Coalition - Love Anyway! |
Child Health & Human Rights, Global Health & Pop., Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, Harvard School of Medicine
Yale School of Medicine, Dept. of Child Study (MINDMAP for first psychosis)
Cambridge University Research
for Parents: The Greater Good Science Center,
greatergood.berkeley.edu, Child MIND, The JED Foundation (Suicidality in Youth)


mission
comprehensive, compassionate precision child/family & adult adult psychological services in the US & globally.

through direct, conversational, need-based and traditional assessment & art "uprooted", "traveling children"
of global war ​and children of high inter-parental unresolved conflict symbolically communicate.

we train ourselves to be fully present, listen to, understand symbolic communication,
intuit & absorb the experience (nature & effects) of severe, extreme stress & trauma
of "uprooted" "traveling children" and "expendable" child of war, death, bereavement, loss, chronic terror
and the unique, unrecognized traumatic stress experience children of unresolved high conflict domestic situations
such as separations or divorces characterized by high conflict or domestic violence.


challenge
we continually seek to understand our own emotional responses for what they are,

​"​what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing:
it also depends on what sort of person you are."

C. S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew
​​

understand how they may impede or contribute to understanding the ways children have coped
while in highly stressful contexts, and, in the US and globally, when homeless, uprooted, unaccompanied, unprotected,
how their symptoms are presently viewed and maintained, and how those symptoms can best be diminished.


vision

to rapidly, accurately assess children of stressful contexts, understand their direct, individual experiences,
and rapidly, accurately differentiate psychosocial and psychiatric need.
successfully match children with appropriate, accessible, quality therapeutic interventions,
uniquely drawing directly from what children themselves reveal.

Where indicated, we may conduct standardized psychological assessment to answer specific questions.

we ask clarifying questions regarding coping
"how have you managed? coped? (so well)?"
"how, exactly, did you cope?
how are you doing now?"
we listen closely for their exact description - what is remembered/recalled of their stressful experiences
​how they managed to cope, and what painful, traumatic, or post traumatic symptoms remain.
results obtained inform children's treatment and potential family, friend, and supportive others' involvement in treatment.
​


as we interview and listen, we measure overall wellbeing
skillful, practiced, precise empathic listening allows us to measure, quantify, children's
a. direct exposure to traumatic experiences b. ways of coping​​ c. current wellbeing & mental health status.
We measure their wellbeing in terms of presence of expressed psychosocial distress
and/or strengths​ (sturdy, flexible coping & mental health)

vs. the expression of psychiatric symptoms (anxiety, depression, dissociation, etc.)
​(absence of more severe mental health symptoms.)

​

as a result,
we can knowledgeably make decisions for precision treatment/interventions.

We are confident that by refining the manner in which treatment decisions are based,
(grounding them in precise, accurate, measurement),
we maximize the potential for timely, contextualized, personalized, ("precision") interventions -
providing ​a rapid, clear, accurate & valid, treatment pathway for recovery and wellbeing.
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Dr. James D. "Jay" Livingston, Ph.D., Senior Clinical Psychologist
abbey psychological services, present
abbeypsychservices.com       jamesdlivingstonphd@yahoo.com
Mindful & Compassionate, Evidence-Based, Precision Care
Clinical and Forensic Consultation, Assessment, Intervention, Training, Supervision  ​ ​
Fellow,
 Society for Personality Assessment, American Psychological Association ​
Founding Executive Board Member,
the always project, always be listening global initiative
Attending Psychologist, Santa Clara County Behavioral Health, present
Founding Director., ​abbey asylum & refugee Services, engaged abbey, abbey psychological services
​Saratoga/Silicon Valley & Monterey CA
Center for Torture Survivors, SJ, CA, Contracting Psychologist ​


former
Center for Survivors of Torture, Senior Staff Psychologist   |  Asian Americans for Community Involvement
Clinical Psychologist, Children's Behavioral Health, Monterey County CA
Associate Professor, Pacific Graduate School of Psychology, Palo Alto, CA
Adjunct Professor, Psychological Assessment, UC Berkeley Extension, University of CA at Berkeley
Adjunct Professor, Psychological Assessment, CSPP at Alliant University, San Francisco, CA

​subject matter expertise
Refuge and Trauma Psychology, Asylum psychology
​Psychological Assessment; Performance-Based Assessment: The Rorschach Test with Children and Adults
​Contributions of Psychological Assessment to Diagnosis and Intervention, emphasis on Trauma and Child Trauma
Nature, Effects, Measurement, and Treatment of Interpersonal, Interparental Violence Exposure on Children and Youth

​ally, member, rotating memberships
HealthRight International  |  Doctors of the World  |  Physicians for Human Rights
   
UN Committee Against Children in Armed Conflict  |  RISE Refugee and Immigrant Services


​
offering
confidential, comprehensive psychological services for adult, child (including very young children) infant-parent), parent-child, child family,
adolescent/teen, transitioning youth, adult general & specialized psychological services for individuals across the lifespan,


specializing
experienced serving bereaved children, youth, adults, ,effects of exposure to extreme terror/danger, or have
complex/complicating developmental, injury/medical, psychiatric conditions; life-limiting or disfiguring acute or
chronic conditions.

educational system-involved complicated situations requiring second opinion, consult; support, treatment
children at risk subsequent to difficulty with inclusion in their family, or difficulties with inclusion into reconstituted
family 
general trauma psychology services, all ages, including for very young children & court-involved cases: review,
second opinion, consult, assessment, collatorate, treatment , expert testimony.

special expertise & experience in trauma assessment & treatment, instruction at doctoral level,
treatment: very young children  & adults
 effects of exposure to violence - nature, effects, assessment, treatment,
cultural/linguistic/gender issues.

high conflict- exposure to interpersonal, interparental families: nature, effects, assessment, treatment, coping and
hope, recovery.
 domestic violence: exposure to interpersonal, interparental families: nature, effects, assessment,
treatment,coping and hope, recovery.
 supporting researcher, and expert testimony
compassionate listening, grief support; credentialed, trained, and co-instructor for twelve years for
hospital chaplaincy training specific parent coaching, connectedness to likeminded professionals as each
situation suggests.
 we see a number of teens preparing for college, and early career professionals, often family constellations.
we enjoy our work with older adults, families who bring frail elders in for assistance with communicating and decision-making,
children and adults with acute, severe, and chronic stress and illness/disease  -- and their families/caregivers.   


immediate initial screening by phone, rapid intake
attempting to offer next day appointments for children in distress
.  . . & weekend appointments where needed, if we possibly can, or strong referrals

call now 408.455.7347

​court-involved situations:
we conduct consultations, forensic assessments, court-ordered individual, child, reunification, re-connection, and
supervised therapies,
 coparent counseling, therapeutic visitation, provide Second Opinion reviews of psychological assessment 


we consider every consultation, every connection, every encounter in therapy
a fresh opportunity for relatedness and connectedness
and we take opportunities to work with youth seriously.
every referral is carefully curated.


while we practice "modern", research informed, state-of-the-art, evidence-based psychotherapies, we are warmly
relational, theoretically integrative, and flexible, grounded in both original attachment theory and modern attachment
theory, (Alan Schore) and clinical-developmental (psychodynamic) theories, and in the profound, ancient Wisdom traditions
and the integrative models of treatment that derive from them, including, for example contemporary trauma theories
and contemporary attachment, psychodynamic theory, mindfulness based theories.


at the core of our work, we offer presence, warmth, empathic attunement,positive regard, deep attention,
deep listening - within a healing space. 
while we integrate research-informed, evidence-based treatments, and often use
cognitive behavioral interventions, as experienced professors and clinicians, we are actively conceptualizing as we work,
drawing fluidly from a number of theoretical frameworks as they are indicated clinically.
For example, we may move to using p
ediatric/health psychology interventions and work primarily from a stress and coping
perspective, using a
specific stress-diathesis (stress-"vulnerability") model while treating the bereaved partner
of an individual who has died of a chronic, life-limiting illness, or in the treatment of a highly ambivalent, suicidal adolescent.


we provide
expert, timely, coherent, 'precision' psychological assessments, a variety of personalized trauma, psychodiagnostic,
personality, trauma, and other types of evaluations and assessments. 
Assessments may be primarily clinical, forensic,
psychodiagnostic, psychoeducational, parent child relationship focused. We conduct evaluations for Family Court,
Juvenile Dependency Court, Mitigation Court and Immigration/Asylum Court. As well, we are often asked to
conduct Private Evaluations for Physicians, Parenting Evaluations, IEPs, Placement, Work re-entry, etc. We provide Second Opinion reviews.


we consult to attorneys &
provide expert testimony & evaluations for the courts

Family, Juvenile Dependency, Mitigation, and Immigration/Asylum, and to individual judges,  parents, teachers,
social workers, IEP and Student Study Teams (SST) teams, attorneys formally and informally,
agengies, nonprofits. work as expert witnesses, and render Second Opinion reviews for children, youth and adults,
attorneys, addressing specific referral questions across many domains, including cognitive, learning, emotional,
interpersonal, coping, issues, etc., and Second Opinion reviews.


we conduct child & adult clinical & psychodiagnostic
psychological assessments
directly tied to treatment recommendations

treatment of child and adult grief and loss, severe stress and coping, including treatment of extreme trauma, victimization:
children and youth,
nature, effects, assessment and treatment of exposure to high unresolved conflict and interpersonal, inter parental violence,
inter-parental violence, treatment of children, adults, families, affected others with chronic or life-limiting illness,
psychological support for invasive medical procedures, etc.,
high anxiety and post traumatic stress, pediatric mood disorders and suicidality, disorienting and distorting
attentional issues which contribute to anxiety and behavioral disorders.


we are active in multiple areas of asylum
& immigration reform, & continuing our global work in Refugee Psychology & humanitarian work for uprooted children

we conduct consultations and asylum evaluations for individuals of all ages, speak and consult internationally on subjects
such as refugee safety, shelter and Sanctuary, torture recovery offer assistance for treatment Catholic Charities of San Jose
and Asian American for Community Involvement, Center for Survivors of Torture - with whom we've been associated for
several decades (Center for Survivors of Torture since its inception).
As well, we have developed our own global humanitarian nonprofit for war- armed conflict affected children
at geopolitically unstable borders (see alwaysbelisteningglobal.com).

​
we treat young unaccompanied minor children
now living in the US (referred to as "uprooted" "traveling children"
by the United Nations) pro bono

(unless, in the rarest of cases, they have access to funds or qualify for services by a provider such as Victims of Crime, etc.)
and further support them by collaborating with appropriate human rights agencies through our global humanitarian project
for forcibly displaced, migrating children at geopolitically unstable borders in ten countries. See our global project,
always be listening global initiative, an independent nonprofit in the US 501(c)(3). 
​(alwaysbelisteningglobal.com),  


an example of our pro bono work:  blue canoe
Dr. Ruebsamen has long provided assistance for what are now referred to by the UN as "uprooted, traveling children" --
street youth, at high risk, without connected ness to family or friends, endangered, sometimes ill, injured, targeted, 
harassed, threatened,
frequently the victims of gender-based violence, fleeing or still involved in trafficking . . . in the US, these are generally
youth who find their way to us from the streets by word of mouth or through buddy referrals - who are, for a number of reasons, unable to locate help, cannot transport themselves, afford, or feel they cannot trust traditional available social and medical
services in the community.

Through connections to service providers and agencies we have made, and by donating our services, we are able to engage
these youth and quickly evaluate their immediate needs - sometimes successfully assist them with immediate concerns  such as connections for transportation, housing, food, and medical services, and, longer term, help them sort out urgent needs from issues that can wait, call home if appropriate, begin to be heard and identify areas of trauma, move them on to appropriate, longer term compassionate professionals and agencies equipped to address and ameliorate both their obvious further immediate stabilization
and long-term medical, residential, psychiatric, educational and vocational needs.

​​Currently, 1.8 million children and youth are estimated homeless on the streets in the US

though numbers are almost impossible to verify given the many ways children learn to be invisible in their often
eventually failed attempts to remain anonymous and, they hope, remain safe to survive on the streets.  
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step by step,
​as children, teens, & families and adults heal,
 we observe increases in empathy, insight, cognitive flexibility, ​and compassion;
organizing, and maintaining care of the self,
developing reciprocal social engagement support - peer friendships
giving & receiving, sharing with others, displaying kindness, confidence, and hope. .
.
You, who are on the road Must have a code That you can live by  And so  Become yourself Because the past Is just a good-bye 
Teach your children well Your father's hell did slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams       The one they picks       The one you'll know by    
            Don't you ever ask them why        If they told you you would cry    So just look at them and sigh      And know they love you.
​And you of tender years       Can't know the fears       That your elders grew by     And so please help      Them with your youth
                                                          They seek the truth      Before they can die                                                          
Teach your parents well.        The children's hell      Will slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams     The one they picks        The one you'll know by  

                   Don't you ever ask them why      If they told you you would cry      So just look at them and sigh     And know they love you.                            

Teach Your Children, Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Released, 1970.  

.


​    
   
  • welcome!
  • ABOUT
  • ASK US! INQUIRE
  • policies
  • Dr. LIVINGSTON
    • CV, Livingston
  • DR. RUEBSAMEN
  • ASSESSMENT
  • FOCUS
  • SCOPE/RISK
  • BLUE DOOR
  • CHILDREN
  • toxic stress
  • PARENTING
    • BEAUTIFUL CHILD
  • PRO BONO
  • ABBEY GLOBAL
  • BLUE CANOE
  • ALWAYS BE LISTENING
  • LATEST NEWS
  • CRISIS
  • BREATHE
  • ALLIES
  • RESOURCES
✕